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Living in the Age of Colbertius
colbertobsessed
30 August 2008 @ 02:16 pm
Back to Life, Back to Reality  

Hello people!

There's nothing like deflated muffin shells and the stench of burnt dough to absolutely destroy your day.

I wanted to be a pastry chef for a while. I still kinda do. I think it'd be really cool to make cakes and cookies and brownies and cupcakes and all that delicious shit. My parents like to tell me that I'll never be a pastry chef cuz I don't like getting messy or doing the dirty dishes.

I've been craving chocolate chip muffins for about a week or so, now, and I decided to make them today. I've never made muffins before. I have made cookies before, but they didn't come out very well (they weren't terrible, I just baked them a minute or so too long).

I followed the recipe to the letter, and even called mom to make sure I was doing everything right (she's pretty much a chef, lol), and yet, the goddamn pieces of shit over-flowed in their pans. I tried to fix them, but then, they filled up with air and when I took them back out of the oven, they were practically shells of dough.

It's my own fault, cuz I didn't know how much dough to put into the pans. I'm just sick of this happening all the time. Every time I try to bake something delicious, it comes out shitty. And now I'm really scared about what my mom will say about how I shouldn't have tried to make muffins when I really didn't know what I was doing and how I wasted ingredients. They don't taste very good, either.

So, yeah, I think I'm gonna give up on baking things for a while. *sad-face*

I just saw the opera JG Wentworth commercial. I dunno why, but I love it. It amuses me. And I always sing along.


WTF is up with the effing Rich Text format? It keeps fucking up. *headdesk*

Love y'all - Mira/Doc/Kat *meow*
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See: [[bedroom]]
Feel: crushed
Hear: "Call JG Wentworth, 877-CASH-NOW!"
 
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Mrs. Carell-Colbert-Stewart: Stephen[info]shoebox_addict on August 30th, 2008 07:07 pm (UTC)
Oh no! I'm sorry about your pastry disaster...that sounds horrible. :( Don't give up though!!
Living in the Age of Colbertius[info]colbertobsessed on August 30th, 2008 07:24 pm (UTC)
Thanks, lol. :} I'm sure I'll try (and fail) again, eventually.
Kate(lyn)[info]ishy_squishy on August 30th, 2008 08:01 pm (UTC)
the easiest way to start in baking is to go the "semi-homemade" route, and make like, brownies or cookies from a box, and add something (like, box brownie mix + half cup all purpose flour + half cup chocolate chips, spooned onto a cookie sheet, baked at the temperature given for the brownies, and baked 5 minutes (or until they look just underdone, lol) = my chocolate chocolate chip cookie recipe)

i love baking, and i have some awesome creations that i've made, and some sweet cookbooks, lol...oh, and if you ever want to make rice krispies, i have the best recipe ever, lol

with the muffins, you probably just overfilled the muffins (food network dot com, the show Good Eats, look at his muffin recipes...muffin method ftw!)
Living in the Age of Colbertius[info]colbertobsessed on August 30th, 2008 08:40 pm (UTC)
Yeah. I've done that before, lol. It usually comes out okay.

Cool, thanks!

Yep, that's what I did. I shoulda waited for mom to get home. *headdesk*
Kate(lyn)[info]ishy_squishy on August 31st, 2008 12:05 am (UTC)
that's the best way to start (and, if you share them, people have NO CLUE that they're not 100% yours, lol)...i got this awesome cookbook, of Pilsbury recipes (from the Pilsbury bake-offs), and it has a ton of recipes using boxed mixes and premade dough, it's pretty awesome (i'm actually making one of the recipes tonight, lol)

yep, it's really, really easy too (it's a mirowave recipe, lol)

yeah, 1/2-3/4 full is the magic number, lol...i bake better than my mom, lol
The MyFace[info]fenellaevangela on August 30th, 2008 08:15 pm (UTC)
Like almost anything, you shouldn't be disappointed if you don't take to baking right away. Practice practice practice, and all that. I've made some poor attempts in the kitchen myself, but I can only get better, you know?

... and if you start baking/cooking more, you can pick up Amy's cookbook! (It may or may not have a recipe from Stephen *shiftyeyes*)
Living in the Age of Colbertius[info]colbertobsessed on August 30th, 2008 08:42 pm (UTC)
:] Thanks, lol.

ZOMFG RLLY?! NOW I MUST GET THAT BOOK!
Super Sam[info]colbertlove on August 30th, 2008 09:02 pm (UTC)
WORD Amy's book is the best, I have it on audiobook, I could send it to you if you want. It even comes with a list of the recipes she gives throughout at the end.
Living in the Age of Colbertius[info]colbertobsessed on August 30th, 2008 09:19 pm (UTC)
Ooh! That would rock! :D Thanks! Um...do you need my email or something?

Cooly!
The MyFace[info]fenellaevangela on August 30th, 2008 09:57 pm (UTC)
(I once set an empty pan on fire. Still not sure how XP)

Amy's book is great. I luff Amy :-D
Living in the Age of Colbertius[info]colbertobsessed on August 30th, 2008 10:01 pm (UTC)
LAWLZ. That's awesome. XD

Hehe! Yeah, she's cool. Are you gonna watch Gym Teacher on Nickelodeon? She's in it. :D
The MyFace[info]fenellaevangela on August 30th, 2008 10:19 pm (UTC)
I really want to see Gym Teacher but Nikelodeon is one of those channels we don't get normally up here, and my family doesn't order it. So I'll have to wait until is shows up somewhere else.

(I'm looking forward to seeing her with Chris Meloni - I still find it pretty hilarious that he's in a comedy)
Living in the Age of Colbertius[info]colbertobsessed on August 30th, 2008 10:25 pm (UTC)
Aww! I'm sorry! :( You'll prolly see it up on YouTube once it's premiered.

Shaaaaaa. He seems really funny from the commercials I've seen.
Super Sam[info]colbertlove on August 30th, 2008 09:08 pm (UTC)
99% of chefs don't like dishes or getting dirty. My brother's going into the culinary arts school in January and I know for a fact he and everyone he works with in the kitchen hates getting messy and really hates dishes. So does his ex-girlfriend, who almost studied in France to become a pastry chef. So don't take that comment to heart. ;)

Also, the hell with recipes, I hate the stupid things. I've made chocolate chip cookies a billion and five times, and they've almost all turned out perfectly unless I got distracted and they burned. The recipe I always use is the one on the back of the chocolate chips. Mom bought new chocolate chips a couple of months ago, I completely followed the recipe, and they turned out horrible. A burned, melty mess stuck to the entire pan. It was like chocolate chip soup gone horribly wrong, it was disgusting. Mom was so mad at me and told me I should have waited for her, which was insulting considering how many times I've made the damned things before when she's considered them perfect. And to this day we still fight about it whenever it's mentioned, because I swear with everything in me that I followed that recipe perfectly, and she says I couldn't have.

So. I blame the chocolate chips. :p
Living in the Age of Colbertius[info]colbertobsessed on August 30th, 2008 09:20 pm (UTC)
:D AWESOME! Thank you, lol, that makes me feel better. <3

Ahaha, that's cool. :O LOL, yes, blame the chocolate chips. They make everything effing difficult.
Super Sam[info]colbertlove on August 31st, 2008 01:57 am (UTC)
Word, t'would help. You also need to have winrar on your computer I think.

Damn chocolate chips! Why must they be so delicious...
bigfish05[info]bigfish05 on August 30th, 2008 09:11 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry about that, baby! *snuggles-smooches-sexes-snuggles*

To cheer you up: I can't cook for shit. I can handle a microwave all right, but as soon as you let me near the stove, you better run. really.fast. Oh my, as soon as I'm leaving home, I'll be lost. LOST.

Have to move in with you then, it seems, lol
Living in the Age of Colbertius[info]colbertobsessed on August 30th, 2008 09:21 pm (UTC)
Thanks, honey! XD *smishes-sexes-smooches-smishes*

:] Awww! LOL! Feel free to move in with me. ;D
bigfish05[info]bigfish05 on August 30th, 2008 09:33 pm (UTC)
Oh, I WILL! You'll cook for me every evening when I come home, awww. Will you wear an apron too? Because I tell you, those are a very weird kink of mine XD

Gonna eat that food off your body then :D
Living in the Age of Colbertius[info]colbertobsessed on August 30th, 2008 09:35 pm (UTC)
;] For SURE!

Mmmmmmmmmmm, sounds good to me! XD
I Am Erica (And So Can You!)[info]lotrfreak21 on August 31st, 2008 12:26 am (UTC)
I know it keeps fucking up! It was so screwy yesterday! DX
Sorry to hear about your muffin disaster. Keep practicing and you'll get better :D
Living in the Age of Colbertius[info]colbertobsessed on August 31st, 2008 12:28 am (UTC)
GRR! It's so annoying!

S'okay. Thanks! <3
liz lemon[info]bohemean on August 31st, 2008 02:53 am (UTC)
I've had that happen to me before and I always feel like the best thing to do is to bake something good right after the mistake - something that I KNOW I'm good at. It helps restore the confidence. :D

Oh. And like someone else said, "I Like You" is pretty much my Bible. It's funny and informative! And it really brightens up your room! (Although... when I went to make her cupcakes, I was kind of nervous because she said, "You should get 24. I get 18 'cause I'm doing something wrong.")
Living in the Age of Colbertius[info]colbertobsessed on August 31st, 2008 03:01 am (UTC)
:D That's a good idea! Thanks!

LOL! I'm definitely gonna have to get it. HAHA. XD <3
liz lemon[info]bohemean on August 31st, 2008 03:09 am (UTC)
:D

LMAO, even though she totally rips off the recipe off the back of the chocolate chips. Only she doubles the vanilla or something like that. (But that recipe really couldn't be topped anyway. What can you do?)
Living in the Age of Colbertius[info]colbertobsessed on August 31st, 2008 03:13 am (UTC)
LMFAO. XD She's so silly!