You suck and die!
-Nick (bro)

I thrive on chaos.
-Dexter

Dean: Planes crash!
Sam: Clowns kill!
-Supernatural

You're like a retarded puppy.
-Dexter

WAIT! I'm expressing myself...
-Ryan Stiles (Whose Line is it Anyway?)

It's a rabbit's foot, Grossman!
-Dude in Supernatural (Bad Day at Black Rock)

Don't be such a gloomy you, Gus.
-Psych

Here I come! Ha! Ha! Ha! I wish.
-Phil Ken Sebben (Harvey Birdman)

Chicken soup. With a fucking straw.
-Bob Wolverton (Freeway)

Our beloved monsters - enjoy yourselves.
-AI Colonel (MGS)

...but you're still pretty much dead.
-Sphinx (the basket)

I'm generally confused most of the time.
-Dexter

...and I'm gonna blow torch the both of ya.
-Serrano (Midnight Run)

A female's in the house, she must be mounted.
-Two and 1/2 Men

Deb: What the fuck?!
Dexter: What which fuck?
-Dexter

Encyclopedias are just fat-ass dictionaries.
-The Colbert Report (The WORD)

Why didn't you tell me, you stupid junkie whore?!
-Chuck Noblet (SWC)

That's the proof of your incompetence right there.
-AI Colonel (MGS)

He's a very self-righteous type'a guy, it aggravates me.
-Serrano (Midnight Run)

I'd say something humble, but what good would it do?
-The Tree Surgeon

Office of Phil Ken Sebben. Founder. Ha! Ha! Ha! Boss.
-PKS' Door (Harvey Birdman)

I'm not a violent person...I just have violent thoughts...
-soujiokita (Jen)

Oh, war. It’s just God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
-The Daily Show

It's a new day! A new profitable new efficient new day!
-Phil Ken Sebben (Harvey Birdman)

You're going away with me, all right. In a garbage bag.
-Dexter

...or I'll stab you through the heart with a fuckin' pencil.
-Serrano (Midnight Run)

Why don't we make you a widower? Your wife drowned in a fire.
-Cherry (SWC)

He made the crippled people see and the blind people walk.
-Lewis Black on Televangelists

Every hero needs a sidekick, every villian a partner in crime.
-Dexter

My office! Burgled! Plundered! Purloined! Ha! Ha! Ha! Loins...
-Phil Ken Sebben (Harvey Birdman)

Tell me I'm pretty! I'm a pretty little girl - you didn't hear that.
-Phil Ken Sebben (Harvey Birdman)

Take it from me, a professional, you're an absolute fucking moron.
-Bob Wolverton (Freeway)

Cop: Some gators givin' ya trouble, Dex?
Dexter: They, uh...ate my puppy.
-Dexter

Snake: Thanks.
Otacon: "Thanks"...oh, that sounds nice.
Snake: ...I believe in you.
-Metal Gear Solid

Doakes: What fucking good are you?
Dexter: No fucking good at all, apparently.
-Dexter

Am I evil? Am I good? I'm done asking those questions. I don't have the answers. Does anyone?
-Dexter

Other people just complicate my life. I don't like to get involved.
-Solid Snake (MGS)

Meryl: How old are you?
Snake: Old enough to know what death looks like...
-Solid Snake (MGS)

There's no such thing as miracles, or the supernatural - only cutting-edge technology.
-Revolver Ocelot (MGS)

Mother Teresa doubted the existence of God. Boy, did she have a bad
career counselor.
-The Colbert Report

Have you ever looked at a cloud and thought it looked like something
else? Then STOP SMOKING DOPE!
-The Colbert Report

I exercise religiously...I lift weights, then drop them to the ground
and say "GOD, that's heavy."
-Ellen DeGeneres

Never doubt yourself. Just let it make you stronger. Learn something from it.
-Solid Snake (MGS)

Don't say a word, Sydney, don't say a goddamn word, or I'll get up and
I'll bury this telephone in your head.
-Serrano (Midnight Run)

Yes, maybe you can find a card for him:
"Now that I'm old and looking back,
I thank you for my heart attack."
-Niles (Fraiser)

Frasier: Oh, do you realize what this means?!
Niles: Yes - the Cranes of Maine have got your Living Brain.
-Frasier

Now we can fight like warriors. Hand to hand. It is the basis of all combat. Only a fool trusts his life to a weapon.
-Gray Fox (MGS)

Frank: The killer doesn’t see the world like everyone else.
Cop: How does he see it?
Frank: ...differently.
-Millennium

If I believed in God, if I believed in sin, this is where I would be sent straight to Hell...if I believed in Hell.
-Dexter

There was one single moment tonight, where I looked up, your eyes captured my soul and I fell in love with you all over again.
-(No Citation)

Madam President: How do I know where your real loyalties lie?
Jack: With all due respect, Madam President, ask around.
-24

Anyone who doesn't not want to avoid failing the mid-term exam, raise your hand now...okay, those of you that raised your hands will fail, as you requested.
-Chuck Noblet (SWC)

What is the fear of the "gay agenda" that has so upset people? Do people think that if gay people are given a place at the table, they'll be so convincing we'll all end up blowing them? What is the issue? "You know, I'm straight, but you've made such a convincing argument..."
-Jon Stewart (stand-up)

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
-Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 5)