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Hello people!
I'm very annoyed right now.
Title of this post is a very small part of it; I use rich text almost all the time, so fact that the HTML tab is the one that's open when I go to post is irritating me. But that's not the reason that I'm posting right now. I'm posting because lately, I've been holding back on family details. Not for any particular reason, I just rush to get my blog done and don't give it the attention it deserves anymore, so my blogs aren't as full as they should be.
Anywho, since I came back home for Thanksgiving break, I've been doing chores. I understand that I'm still a member of this family and a part of this household, even if I don't *live* here all the time, so I know I have to do chores. That's fine. But I want everything to be equally divided amongst the bro and myself. For the past two or three days, Nick has slept for a good chunk of the day, while I do chores without protest.
Now, I'm not saying I don't ever complain about chores or that I do them all the time, cuz I do complain and I don't do them all the time. But as of late, I've been doing everything and Nick has been doing hardly anything. Today, dad asked me to do the dishes. I did the dishes multiple times yesterday, as well as the laundry, while Nick was napping after school, so I was a little annoyed with that.
I told dad that I'm a bit ticked that I've been doing everything lately and Nick's been doing nothing, and he freaked out. He yelled at me and told me to get out, even though I was doing the fucking dishes, like he asked me to. I told him no, I was doing the dishes, chill out. But he kicked over a stool, got in my face and screamed for me to get out and that he had had enough of my and my brother's complaining.
Excuse me, but if he balanced out the chores instead of making me do everything, maybe I wouldn't complain. So I went upstairs and now I'm stuck in my room. I'm hungry, I'm depressed and I need someone to talk to. And, ya know, this isn't the only area where dad's better to Nick. For the past three years, whenever I wanted something to eat for lunch, I better make it myself or I'm not gonna eat.
But mom and dad are constantly making food for Nick instead of making him do it himself. I don't understand it! I know that they think Nick isn't responsible enough to take care of himself, or that if they don't make him food, he will literally starve himself cuz he's too lazy to make stuff for himself, but if they keep babying him, he is not going to survive when he has to move out and live on his own.
And, ya know, every single day, it's like I've gotta walk on pins and needles to avoid setting off the ticking time-bombs that are my parents and my brother. Absolutely any little thing can set them off, and it usually does. I expect mom to come home pissed off and to cause a riff in whatever good mood we may be in, though I think that's already ruined for the day. I know, I know, I should've just shut the fuck up and done the dishes.
I regret that I said anything but I'm so sick of being made to do everything. But what am I thinking? No one in my family will ever change. They take anything you say painfully personally and as a personal attack. I feel like we all need to talk to a therapist, just so that someone NOT connected to us would tell each of us (including myself) what we need to hear so we can fucking CHANGE for the better and function better.
I'm just sick of everything. I have half a mind to go back to sleep and just pretend today didn't happen.
Love y'all - Mira/Doc/Kat *meow*
I'm very annoyed right now.
Title of this post is a very small part of it; I use rich text almost all the time, so fact that the HTML tab is the one that's open when I go to post is irritating me. But that's not the reason that I'm posting right now. I'm posting because lately, I've been holding back on family details. Not for any particular reason, I just rush to get my blog done and don't give it the attention it deserves anymore, so my blogs aren't as full as they should be.
Anywho, since I came back home for Thanksgiving break, I've been doing chores. I understand that I'm still a member of this family and a part of this household, even if I don't *live* here all the time, so I know I have to do chores. That's fine. But I want everything to be equally divided amongst the bro and myself. For the past two or three days, Nick has slept for a good chunk of the day, while I do chores without protest.
Now, I'm not saying I don't ever complain about chores or that I do them all the time, cuz I do complain and I don't do them all the time. But as of late, I've been doing everything and Nick has been doing hardly anything. Today, dad asked me to do the dishes. I did the dishes multiple times yesterday, as well as the laundry, while Nick was napping after school, so I was a little annoyed with that.
I told dad that I'm a bit ticked that I've been doing everything lately and Nick's been doing nothing, and he freaked out. He yelled at me and told me to get out, even though I was doing the fucking dishes, like he asked me to. I told him no, I was doing the dishes, chill out. But he kicked over a stool, got in my face and screamed for me to get out and that he had had enough of my and my brother's complaining.
Excuse me, but if he balanced out the chores instead of making me do everything, maybe I wouldn't complain. So I went upstairs and now I'm stuck in my room. I'm hungry, I'm depressed and I need someone to talk to. And, ya know, this isn't the only area where dad's better to Nick. For the past three years, whenever I wanted something to eat for lunch, I better make it myself or I'm not gonna eat.
But mom and dad are constantly making food for Nick instead of making him do it himself. I don't understand it! I know that they think Nick isn't responsible enough to take care of himself, or that if they don't make him food, he will literally starve himself cuz he's too lazy to make stuff for himself, but if they keep babying him, he is not going to survive when he has to move out and live on his own.
And, ya know, every single day, it's like I've gotta walk on pins and needles to avoid setting off the ticking time-bombs that are my parents and my brother. Absolutely any little thing can set them off, and it usually does. I expect mom to come home pissed off and to cause a riff in whatever good mood we may be in, though I think that's already ruined for the day. I know, I know, I should've just shut the fuck up and done the dishes.
I regret that I said anything but I'm so sick of being made to do everything. But what am I thinking? No one in my family will ever change. They take anything you say painfully personally and as a personal attack. I feel like we all need to talk to a therapist, just so that someone NOT connected to us would tell each of us (including myself) what we need to hear so we can fucking CHANGE for the better and function better.
I'm just sick of everything. I have half a mind to go back to sleep and just pretend today didn't happen.
Love y'all - Mira/Doc/Kat *meow*
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